He that can have patience can have what he will. ----Benjamin Franklin

By the time he grows up, Isaac is going to be sick to death of his Mama's hugs because I am not gong to stop hugging him from the minute he gets out of his isolette. :) I just wanted to squeeze him today and smoosh kisses all over his face. The poor little guy doesn't know what he's in for when he comes home. :)

He had another really good day. He is very stable on the vent , he has been less jittery and less touchy to stimulation. He pooped on his own for the first time today (the other times have been after an enema) which really excited his nurse. Apparently that is a really good thing. No word yet though on if that means they will try to feed him again soon.

He's lost a little bit of fluid weight, but is still a little over 2 lbs. He has been a lot more alert and inquisitive which has been really fun. And, he just keeps getting cuter. :)

I love my two boys. They are each so amazing in their individual ways. I love Jonah's goodness and sweetness. I love Isaac's fire and strength. I feel so incredibly blessed today to have such amazing kids. My heart has been so full of love for them.

There are times when I just sit and stare at Isaac marvelling at the miracle he is--and not just a miracle because he is so small and has been through so much--but a miracle simply because he exists at all. Suddenly we have this tiny, bold, beautiful little person who wasn't here just a short while ago. And he's packed with such strength and such strong opinions :) Isaac is a miracle, but life is a miracle.

I look at Isaac and I am overwhelmed with love for him. I love him simply because he exists. What a strange thing. In so many relationships our love is tainted by how we are treated or whether or not the other person is difficult to love. As a parent, those things are inconsequential. We love our children simply because they are here. And we love them with a depth we can't explain or even understand. It's the closest thing we have to understanding Heavenly Father's love for us.

I have sat by Isaac's bedside and talked to him many times. I usually say things like, "Hang in there little one. I am here. It's going to be okay." There have been several times when as I have said these things to my boy, I have felt Heavenly Father saying them to me as well. "Hang on little one. I am here. It's going to be okay." When I think about the fact that He loves me so infinitely more than I could ever love my little Isaac, it humbles me to my very core. How could so much love be possible. But I have felt it--I have felt His love in a way I never have before and I do not think I will ever again be the same.

I know there are many who do not believe in God. Everyone arrives at their belief system in their own way through their own experiences. That is as it should be. The only experience I can share is my own. My beliefs are my own--and they have come through many experiences, many feelings, and many hours of pondering.

My belief is this: God lives. He lives in my life and in my heart. His love for us is profound. I have felt it too deeply to ever be able to question it again. That is a miracle.