"Love makes everything that is heavy light." ---Thomas P. Kempis

Isaac loves his pacifier. When he wants it, he goes nuts if he can't have it. Apparently it is very soothing for preemies, so we try to give it to him as often as possible. Yesterday, I was trying to devise a way to keep it in his mouth without my holding it. I kept trying to get Isaac to hold on to the pacifier with no luck. Finally, his little hand wrapped around the giraffe and presto! Success! It was so sweet. He just clung to the giraffe and sucked on his pacifier for a long time. What a little sweetheart.

Isaac is 3 lbs 8.6 oz. and growing. As of midnight tonight he will be on full feeds (32 mls) for his size. As he keeps growing, they will increase the amount. He's still doing great with the Progestimil--no word yet on when (or if) they will try going back to breast milk.

Tomorrow is the last day of Isaac's Ganciclovir treatment (whew!). He held in there for six weeks. he needed several transfusions, but they were able to keep him on the treatment. The final word is that they will not be trying to continue the Ganciclovir. The infectious disease specialist did not think it was necessary and there just isn't enough data regarding babies staying on the drug long term to warrant the risk. I'm really looking forward to him getting off the drug, but I am also nervous about what it will do to his health. If the Ganciclovir really has been suppressing the CMV, going off of it might bring back some of Isaac's earlier problems. He is so much bigger and stronger than he was though, and has a much better chance at fighting any problems that may arise.

They tried weaning him down on the CPAP on Sunday, to a pressure of 6 from 7, but he only lasted about 12 hours before they had to put him back up to 7. One of his nurses that I trust the most told me that in order to make it home by his due date he is going to have to tolerate weaning off the CPAP fairly quickly and steadily. If he's a slowpoke about it like he has been with the vent, it's likely he'll have to stay longer than we thought. His lungs just got so ravaged from his CMV pneumonia. I want him so badly to be able to come home, but I also know Isaac well enough by now to know that he'll come off the CPAP when he's good and ready and there's no point in pushing him into it.

I'm just taking it day by day and trying not to think too much beyond a week ahead or I seriously start losing my mind. In the meantime, I get to hold him every day without the CPAP (they let him be on just oxygen while I hold him which is SO much nicer than the CPAP) which is so fun. They take him out and he just settles right down on his Mama and we cuddle (and usually doze) for an hour or more. Mmmmmmm.